Top positive review
5.0 out of 5 starsHeartbreaking, heartfelt, honest & hopeful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 November 2020
Oh my word, my emotions went right through the wringer with this book - it has all the feels!
Josh is a young man from a close, loving family, achieving well at school, predicted great grades with conditional offers from brilliant universities when he is suddenly hit by depression. Depression which gets so bad he makes plans to escape it. Permanently. This is his story, and the story of his mum Amanda as she comes to terms with Josh's depression, tries to under it and work out how she can best support her son. There are some tough times for her, husband Simeon and other son Ben, but Josh has the hardest time of all.
I was keen to read this book for two reasons. I live with anxiety based depression. I am fortunate never to have felt as low as Josh (there but by the grace...) but I know what it's like to feel empty, or to cry at everything. Or nothing. Secondly, I am the mother of two boys in their late teens who've both had their struggles (not depression). And I have often lay awake wondering if their dad and I had done the best we could for them, made the right choices, consulted the right people, etc. So I could relate in some small way to the words of both Josh and Amanda.
The opening sentence of the prologue is 'The decision to end my life was one that came easily.' This book is very open, honest and raw. Josh is unflinching about his moods, his frustration, his shame and his use of alcohol for self medication. He is also clear about why he felt that suicide was the way out. I can only imagine how hard it was for him to revisit that time for the writing of this book, it was difficult to read in places. For Amanda, to see her child deteriorating in front of her, and not knowing how to reach him must have been heartbreaking for her. Especially knowing that he wanted to end his life. It was certainly heartbreaking to read. There is a moment in the book when Amanda is trying to make Christmas jolly and fun in the hope it will lift Josh's mood. The extended family are hugely supportive but the joy doesn't get through to Josh. She writes 'Their words slid from his sadness and pooled on the floor for us to slip in.' I found that sentence both beautiful and heartbreaking.
But there are two other people deeply affected by Josh's illness. Theirs is a blended family - Josh's friend Ben becomes his brother when Simeon marries Amanda. Simeon is incredibly supportive of Josh. And Amanda, of course. Arguably, he takes on more than most stepdads but he never once shirks his responsibility. Josh clearly appreciates Simeon and the way he speaks about him in an early chapter is just lovely. I had tears in my eyes. In a later chapter the stress of it all hits Simeon and it proves to be a turning point for the family. I was in tears reading it but so pleased they all opened up to each other.
There were so, so many moments that touched me. It shows the power of an inspiring teacher and the damage caused by bad ones. When Josh takes part, very successfully, in a public speaking event, the head teacher says to him something like 'Well I never, who knew you could do that?' and Josh replies 'I did, Sir, I knew.' I cried that Josh had to say it but was so proud of him for doing it!
This is a very personal story which Josh and Amanda been brave enough to share, and I know it will touch many people. Whilst more people are talking openly about depression, it's still not enough, and I really hope this will encourage more people to open up. Particularly young men. The suicide rate of men under is very high and part of that is because men feel unable to open up. Josh was brave enough to open up to his family and then to the world via this book, so I hope any struggling young man who reads his story will reach out to someone close.
Josh, thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you are very proud about how far you've come and how well you're doing. I'm so happy you're hopeful about the future. Thank you for your honesty. Amanda, I felt your pain. Thank you for being so open. The Boy Between is heartbreaking, heartfelt, honest, raw, beautiful and hopeful and will stay with me for a long time. Please read it.